Standard: The worst violin quartet playing I’ve ever done is going to be on Scottish TV tonight.

**Edit; it wasn’t on the news tonight, thank goodness.

This morning, Fug, Bomb and Kezz and I were asked to play brand new instruments made from the tree of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of Sherlock Holmes. (I don’t know why I needed to mention that…)
These instruments were made to commemorate the United Nations Forest Convention (or something like that? we didn’t have a clue really…)

We aren’t even in a quartet together at school so we had to hunt for something short and simple for this occasion. From the dusty music library we found a simple bit of Handel. We changed into school uniform. We ran through the movement once at 10:30am, then we left school.

We took a taxi to the Usher Hall, with our bows and shoulder rests. We were terrified and nervous and under pressure.

Here is Bomb learning how to tie a tie. I don’t understand – I thought all men knew how to tie a tie?
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The instruments were brought by the maker, Steve Burnett. He was really nice. He said he made the ‘quartet’ in around two months which is pretty impressive. These photos are a bit blurry because I was holding a violin.

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We had about 10 minutes to play on them and then the photographer took some shots of us:

We played outside the Usher Hall… It was freeeeezing and people were watching us. Photobucket
My bow is conveniently squint…
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… inside the building by the spiral staircase…
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…in the grand circle of the audience, and we were interviewed…
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Steve Burnett being interviewed.
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The playing couldn’t have gone worse. Honestly… The ensemble was dreadful but we weren’t bothered about it because we only knew about this about millisecond beforehand. We were under even more pressure when the TV crew asked us questions. How on earth would we know about the history?… I want to hit myself every time I think about what I said. I said something about how it felt to play this instrument and it came out like I was complimenting my own sound on the instrument WHICH IS NOT WHAT I MEANT. Fug said her viola was,

“chunky”

Bomb said,

“[Sir Arthur Conan Doyle] was a special guy.”

I’m still recovering from this experience.
Watch it tonight, 6pm, on STV (channel 3), if you dare. The words coming out my mouth were not thought over. So don’t believe them.

I can’t believe he actually thought our playing was,

“Amazing.”

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2 thoughts on “Standard: The worst violin quartet playing I’ve ever done is going to be on Scottish TV tonight.

  1. The misleading media… (“The Arthur Conan Doyle Quartet”) « The Diary of a Noggin

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